Bodily takeover

I never exactly envisioned myself pregnant.  I mean, I wanted kids, so I guess I knew that they would have to come from somewhere, but I never had loving visual images of myself all round and awkward happily gestating on the couch somewhere.  Now that it's here, I am realizing how little though I put into this process.  MY BODY IS BEING TAKEN OVER BY AN ALIEN!!  I'm only about 5 1/2 months along, but already, there are things that I have learned about having this little guy swimming in my tummy:

1.  The only people who tell you how much they loved being pregnant have not been so in over 10 year.  This includes those who insist that they were never sick or tired, and always felt fantastic.  They give me hope though that I too can forget any unpleasant life details if enough time passes.

2.  The kicking thing is severely overrated.  I waited for weeks to feel kicks - I thought they would be so special and wonderful - that somehow little boy and I would be communicating our love in Morris Code or something.  No, now they just keep me up at night and cause my husband to exclaim things like "Hey!  I saw that one through your sweater!"  I suspect we will have to pay for soccer lessons for our little kicker later on.

3.  No matter what you thought would fit, you were wrong.  I have now outgrown everything from maternity jeans to large sweaters.  I almost cried the first day my sweatpants wouldn't fit.  And those cute underthings I used to love - let's just say they are now a joke as I attempt to decide what size of maternity undergarment best fits my expanding form.

I won't even mention the Buddha-belly rubs from strangers or the fact that is severely demoralizing to stand in front of a mirror while getting dressed in the morning.

Thankfully, my husband is very supportive and I am still able to feel somewhat good about myself, but I'm not sure that will help as my stomach expands to take over my entire seated lap.